Two stars is the hardest band to answer, and our measurements say it is also the worst answered. The reviewer is not furious — they are disappointed, specific, and usually right about something.
Below are real 2-star reviews left at UK cafés, the reply that is actually published underneath each one today, and the reply our software writes for the same review. Business names, email addresses and reviewers' names are removed. Nothing here is invented.
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Because the review is reasonable, the reply tends to be apologetic, and apology slides into admission faster here than anywhere else. This is the band where the highest share of published replies break a rule.
If you think mediocre is "Da-Bomb" Then this is the place for you. ——— with a tube of flavorless meat was the pits. That made it easy for them but bad for the customer. ——— was passable. Though, thinking on it, 4 or more pints first and you won't care what they serve you
Thank you for taking the time to leave us your feedback. We’re really sorry to hear that the service during your recent visit to our venue didn’t meet your expectations. Providing friendly, efficient and welcoming service is something we take great pride in, so it’s disappointing to learn we fell short on this occasion. As a food hall, we’re home to a range of independent food partners who operate their own kitchens and teams. While they manage their day-to-day service, we care deeply about every guest’s overall experience, so we will be passing your feedback directly on to the relevant partner. If you’d be open to discussing your visit further, we’d really appreciate the opportunity to make it right. Please feel free to email us at ——— with a few more details, and a member of our management team will be in touch. Thank you again for bringing this to our attention, and we hope to have the chance to welcome you back for a much improved experience.
The gyro is one of those dishes where the meat really does carry it — and we're particular about what goes into the spit. Two stars noted.
What was the dreadful cheap floppy white sliced bread toast we were served yesterday? It definitely was not the usual sourdough.
Dear ———, Thank you for taking the time to leave us a review. We're very sorry that we let you down on this occasion. Unfortunately, our supplier let us down and did not deliver our usual sourdough on the day of your visit. We should have explained this to you and offered you the choice of white or granary bread instead. We sincerely apologise for this oversight. We'd love the opportunity to make things right. If you're willing to give us another chance, please email us at ——— and we'll be delighted to arrange a table for you and ensure you receive the experience you were expecting from us. We hope to welcome you back soon. Kind regards, The ——— ——— ——— Team
That is worth knowing. Our toast is sourdough — that is not a minor detail, it is the point of the thing.
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