In August 2026 we read every reply we could find published by 8 cafés in Kelham Island — 160 of them. This page is what we counted. Nothing on it is estimated, and no business is named.
Replies here run at or below the Sheffield median of 13 words. Short is fine — short and specific is what works. Short and generic is what most of these are. 71% of them touch nothing the reviewer actually wrote.
These appear word-for-word under reviews at more than one business here. Nobody copied anyone — they arrived at the same sentence independently, which is what makes it a template.
“Thank you so much for the lovely review!”
2 cafésCounted across the 160 reviews we read here. Each one has its own page, with real examples and how the published replies handled them.
Food was good although 2 of our party got their food 15 mins after the rest. Service super slow, 3 drinks in an hour and half for a £45 "bottomless" not good. ——— to the bar man and he was apologetic and allowed us to pay the lower price band with some free shots but still didn't make up for the fact we booked a while ago and mentioned it was a friends birthday party. Would recommend for drinks but not for an advertised "bottomless" service.
Hi ———, Firstly, we'd like to sincerely, ——— the experience you had with us. We completely understand how disappointing it is when the service doesn't meet expectations, and we're genuinely sorry that we let you down. We did our best to make things right on the day by extending your booking time, offering discounts, and providing complimentary shots as a gesture of goodwill. Unfortunately, we were much busier than anticipated due to the ——— festival, with a large number of walk-in customers, which resulted in slower service than we would normally provide. While this explains why things were delayed, it doesn't take away from your experience, and for that we sincerely, ———. Our goal was to ensure you didn't leave feeling disappointed, which is why we tried to compensate for the inconvenience as much as possible. We truly value your feedback, and we'd really appreciate the opportunity to restore your confidence in us. Please get in touch with us directly, and we'll do everything we can to make this right. Thank you for your understanding, and we hope to have the chance to welcome you back and provide the experience you should have received the first time.
The food landing in two waves isn't something we'd consider acceptable — everyone at the table should eat together. On the drinks, three rounds in ninety minutes falls well short of what bottomless means, and we're glad the team acknowledged that on the day. A birthday booking deserves better pacing than that.
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