In August 2026 we read every reply we could find published by 8 cafés in New Town — 102 of them. This page is what we counted. Nothing on it is estimated, and no business is named.
Replies here run longer than the Edinburgh median — 40 words against 18. Longer is not better: past a certain point a reply reads as defensive, and the reader stops. 42% of them touch nothing the reviewer actually wrote.
These appear word-for-word under reviews at more than one business here. Nobody copied anyone — they arrived at the same sentence independently, which is what makes it a template.
“We’re glad that you enjoyed the coffee.”
2 cafés“We’re sorry the rest of your experience wasn’t up to our usual standards.”
2 cafés“We will share with the team and review these areas to prevent them happening again.”
2 cafésTerrible service, we waited for over an hour for our food. The order didn’t get through and instead of offering immediately an apology and drinks , they did not. We never received and apology and they seem like irritated . They were not nice. I understand they are busy but they should have give the urgency and importance when you have customer waiting for food for an hour.
Dear ———, we're sorry to hear about your experience and appreciate you sharing your feedback. We aim to provide warm, attentive service and regret we fell short during your visit. Your comments help us improve, and we hope you'll consider giving us another chance to showcase the best brunch in ———. Thank you for bringing this to our attention. Best wishes, ——— ——— Team
——— hour without food reaching the table is too long, and when something goes wrong with an order the right move is to catch it early and say so. That part matters to us. We can't speak to exactly what happened that afternoon, but a lost order handled quietly is not how it should go.
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