the review
Terrible service and rude chef. Food was taking ages and when we asked about it he was rude and shouted. No cool. We just wanted breakfast!
measured in Kemptown, Brighton
How Kemptown cafés answer their Google reviews
In August 2026 we read every reply we could find published by 9 cafés in Kemptown — 185 of them. This page is what we counted. Nothing on it is estimated, and no business is named.
9
cafés read in Kemptown
185
replies measured
29
median words (Brighton 26)
4%
replies that break a check
Replies here run longer than the Brighton median — 29 words against 26. Longer is not better: past a certain point a reply reads as defensive, and the reader stops. 36% of them touch nothing the reviewer actually wrote.
Sentences shared between different Kemptown cafés
These appear word-for-word under reviews at more than one business here. Nobody copied anyone — they arrived at the same sentence independently, which is what makes it a template.
“We hope to see you back again soon!”
2 cafés“We look forward to welcoming you back soon.”
2 cafésWhat Kemptown reviewers actually write about
Counted across the 185 reviews we read here. Each one has its own page, with real examples and how the published replies handled them.
55coffee quality7price and value complaints5cleanliness and hygiene5allergy and dietary requirements5dogs, prams and access
One Kemptown review, answered twice
★★★★★
published underneath
Hello ———, I would like to apologise again for the service you initially received on your visit this is not a usual experience and not the service we pride ourselves on. I had hoped after we fully comped your meal and drinks with the free drinks on top we had managed to redeem ourselves slightly, as this does not seem to have been the case please do feel free to email us at ——— so we can discuss further. Kind Regards, ——— Street
anchoring1/ 100
points away from the page
what we would have written
——— longer than expected for breakfast is frustrating, and asking about it is entirely reasonable. We do expect everyone here — front of house and kitchen alike — to handle that kind of question with basic good manners. That standard applies on a quiet morning and a slammed one.
anchoring9/ 100
no rule broken
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