In August 2026 we read every reply we could find published by 15 cafés in North Laine — 324 of them. This page is what we counted. Nothing on it is estimated, and no business is named.
Replies here run at or below the Brighton median of 26 words. Short is fine — short and specific is what works. Short and generic is what most of these are. 44% of them touch nothing the reviewer actually wrote.
These appear word-for-word under reviews at more than one business here. Nobody copied anyone — they arrived at the same sentence independently, which is what makes it a template.
“Hi ———, thanks so much for your amazing review!”
2 cafés“Hi ———, thanks for the amazing review!”
2 cafés“We look forward to seeing you again soon!”
2 cafésCounted across the 324 reviews we read here. Each one has its own page, with real examples and how the published replies handled them.
I bought a pistachio cheesecake and it wasn't fresh. There was a raspberry on top for decoration, but the raspberry inside was moldy. The seller deliberately gave me a stale piece. It's very disappointing because I love this place and am a regular customer.
Thank you for your feedback, and we’re very sorry to hear about your experience. This is certainly not the standard we aim to provide, especially for our regular customers. We take food quality and freshness very seriously, and what you describe is concerning. We would never intentionally serve anything past its best. We will investigate this immediately with our team and check our stock and procedures to ensure this doesn’t happen again. We would also appreciate it if you could contact us directly so we can look into this properly and make it right for you. We truly value your support and hope we can restore your trust in us.
——— on fruit inside a slice is not something we'd send out knowingly — freshness is checked before anything goes to the counter. We're sorry this one fell short of that. If a piece isn't right, we'd always swap it or take it off the bill; worth flagging to the team on the spot, as that gives us the chance to catch it.
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